⏑−⏑−¦−⏑⏑¦−⏑−−¦¦⏑−⏑−¦−⏑⏑¦−⏑−− Upajāti
(Upendravajrā)
yadā tu
tatraiva na śarma lebhe jarā jareti praparīkṣamāṇaḥ |⏑−⏑−¦−⏑⏑¦−⏑−−¦¦⏑−⏑−¦−⏑⏑¦−⏑−−
tato narendrānumataḥ sa bhūyaḥ krameṇa tenaiva bahir-jagāma || 3.39
3.39
When actually there, however, he found
no happiness,
Looking deeper and deeper into aging,
and thinking, “growing old..., growing
old...,”
Whereupon, with the king's approval,
again,
By the exact same procedure, he went
outside.
COMMENT:
The 1st pāda can be read as
an expression of the essence of suffering which is actually to be
present at some place at some time, as opposed to thinking about
being there when one is on the way there, but at the same not
actually being there because one is not there in one's heart.
Aśvaghoṣa often uses tatra and, with added emphasis, tatraiva, to
express the state of being present in the here and now. So the use of tatraiva in
the 1st pāda of today's verse is somewhat ironic.
If I personalize this part, before I
went to Japan a couple of weeks past my 22nd birthday, I
had fantasized about what it might be like, searching for the essence
of Zen in the martial arts. Then when I got off the plane and started
training in karate dojos in Tokyo and Okinawa, and subsequently
sitting in Zen temples, there was a sense of “Wow! I am actually
here, doing this.” But in the background there was very often another sense, a deeper, nagging sense, of me having forced myself to be there. This sense became increasingly pronounced in later years as the tendency to lift my chest in the effort to sit more and more upright ossified into a deeply ingrained habit, so that I did not even know that I was thus breaking my back into two of three parts, disconnecting head, heart, and hara.
Nowadays, in contrast, sometimes when I am sitting in the open air here by the Norman forest there is a different sense of really belonging, which has less to do with me and more to do with the trees.
Nowadays, in contrast, sometimes when I am sitting in the open air here by the Norman forest there is a different sense of really belonging, which has less to do with me and more to do with the trees.
Yesterday, for example, after a rainy morning, I was
sitting on a south-facing platform witnessing the afternoon sun making its way towards a big
ash tree 40 yards in front of me and to my right. Behind me and on my
left the stream that runs along the edge of the forest was gushing
loudly, filling the air with negative ions and high frequency sounds.
For a monent or two I was there in a sense in which I was never there
for a moment during my 13 years in Japan.
I am not saying that I really know what
it means to be right there, tatra, or tatraiva, in a “true”
non-ironic sense. If I did, maybe I could make a lot of money writing
books or selling CDs with titles like “The Power of Now.” But
when Aśvaghoṣa's writes of actually being there (tatraiva in an
ironic sense), but finding no happiness, that irony I do get, on the
basis of having suffered long and hard, through nobody else's fault
but my own.
Or again, in blaming myself, am I doing what Jimmy Savile's victims, and what other victims of abuse, are wont to do -- blaming themselves for their naivety in allowing themselves to be abused? Yes, there may be a bit of that too. Because the way that Gudo Nishijima taught me to sit, forcibly, was a kind of physical abuse. And if it were not for the FM Alexander Technique, and enlightened witnesses like Marjory Barlow, I would probably now be perpetuating the cycle of abuse upon a new generation of victims.
If the 1st pāda expresses
suffering, the 2nd pāda expresses its cause, which is
either the terror of aging, or the concept of enlightenment,
depending on how one reads this whole series of verses on growing
old.
The 3rd pāda describes the prince's response. At this stage of his
development the prince has not matured to the point where he is ready
and able to do what he has to do, which is to follow his own heart,
with or without his father's approval. Therefore his response
involves, as before, seeking the king's approval.
In the 4th
pāda the words krameṇa tenaiva “by the exact same procedure,” point to a tried and test means-whereby – a
procedure one has found, in the laboratory of work on the self, to
work.
"By the exact same procedure,”
means for example by riding in the same chariot as a chariot-driver
who is a complete man and a skilled tamer of horses.
“Going outside,” (bahir √gam)
might be what Dogen was alluding to when he wrote of 出身の活路
(SHUSSHIN NO KATSU-RO), “the vigorous road of getting the
body out.”
“When you feel you are wrong,”
Marjory Barlow used to say, “say No [to the idea that triggers
those wrong inner patterns which are the doing that has to be
stopped], give your directions ['let the neck be free, to let the
head go forward and up, to let the back lengthen and widen, while
sending the knees forwards and away'], and go into movement without a
care in the world. Let it come out in the wash.”
[I wrote this part of this comment, by the way, around noon yesterday, while thinking of practising what I was preaching in process of typing the words, and shortly before going outside to practise it further.]
An old friend of Marjory's and the last
surviving “first-generation” of Alexander teachers who was
taught to teach by FM Alexander himself, is Elizabeth Walker, still
teaching now at the age of 97. A couple of years ago I met my brother
in Oxford where he had gone to have a lesson with Elizabeth. I asked
him how the lesson was. “Same old. Same old,” was his reassuring
reply.
In going outside there is always
something fresh and invigorating, something different from the stuffy
congestion of habit, but once one has found a method that works for
getting from here to there, the point is not to be creative and
innovative in changing the method. “Boredom does not come into it!”
Marjory asserted. When she said “head FORWARD and UP,” it was
always fresh, like she was saying it for the first time. But she was
using, as she had used hundreds of thousands of times before, the
exact same words and the exact same procedure that her uncle FM
Alexander had used with her. Same old. Same old.
VOCABULARY
yadā: ind. when
yadā: ind. when
tu: but
tatra: ind. therein, in that place, in
that state
eva: (emphatic)
na: not
śarma = acc. sg. śarman: n. shelter
, protection , refuge , safety ; joy , bliss , comfort , delight ,
happiness
lebhe = 3rd pers. sg. perf.
labh: to get, win, obtain
jarā (nom. sg.): f. old age
jarā (nom. sg.): f. old age
iti: “...,” thus
praparīkṣamāṇaḥ = nom. sg. m.
pres. part. pra-pari-√īkṣ: to reflect further
pari-√īkṣ: to look round , inspect
carefully , try , examine , find out , observe , perceive
tataḥ: ind. then
narendrānumataḥ (nom. sg. m.): with
the king's approval
narendra: “man-lord,” king
anumata: mfn. approved , assented to ,
permitted , allowed , agreeable ; n. consent , permission ,
approbation
sa (nom. sg. m.): he
bhūyaḥ: ind. once more, again
krameṇa (inst. sg.): m. a step; going
, proceeding , course ; uninterrupted or regular progress , order ,
series , regular arrangement , succession
tena (inst. sg. m.): that
eva: (emphatic)
bahis: ind. out , forth , outwards ,
outside
jagāma = 3rd pers. sg.
perf. gam: to go
觸事不留情 所居無暫安
王聞子不悦 勸令重出遊
即勅諸群臣 莊嚴復勝前
王聞子不悦 勸令重出遊
即勅諸群臣 莊嚴復勝前
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