SAUNDARANANDA 14.22: What to Keep in Mind, In the War Against Sleep

dhaatur aarambha-dhRtyosh ca
sthaama-vikramayor api
nityaM manasi kaaryas te
baadhyamaanena nidrayaa

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14.22
Initiative and constancy,

Inner strength and courage,

Are the elements to bear constantly in mind

While you are being oppressed by sleep.

COMMENT:
Trying to be conscious is trying to be right, that is, unconscious behaviour associated with unduly excited fear reflexes and emotions. Having fallen into this trap once again, with my habitual grim determination, where do I start?

Aarambha-dhRti, initiative and constancy, as I read it, includes the meaning of constantly being prepared to go back to square one, to return again and again to the drawing board -- not with a view to trying again, only this time harder, but in order to think things through afresh.

Similarly, the kind of strength and courage expressed by sthaama-vikrama might be the strength and courage to dare to be wrong -- just precisely the opposite of the strength and courage that macho men habitually tend to try to manifest. Sthaaman, whose meanings include seat, and the neighing of a horse, suggests to me not so much muscular strength as energy coming from a deeper place. It might be the inner strength and courage of one who is able to drop off an old view, as opposed to the outer strength and courage of one who defends his view and his position to the end, wishing to be seen by self and others as right.

The phrase in the 3rd line manasi kR, lit. "to make in the mind," is given in the dictionary as to bear in the mind, to remember; and also as to determine. The same phrase appears in the 4th line of the previous verse, interpreted with the latter meaning (MC: "to be sure about"; EHJ: "deem"; LC "assume").

Baadhyamaanena nidrayaa, being oppressed by sleep, is being discussed here primarily in the context of continuing one's practice at nightfall. So overtly this section seems to be an encouragement, during one's last sitting of the day for example, when eyelids are liable to droop, not to give in to a temporary state of sleepiness, but to keep sitting till the end of the sitting.

But again, digging deeper, the word sleep might be taken to indicate the tendency in us that is constantly resistant to waking up -- the force of habit, which is there with us in sleep, in waking, in getting up, and in all our movement and rest. (Hence the rather enigmatic title of FM Alexander's fourth and final book: "The Universal Constant in Living.")

It is the force of habit which keeps us weighed down with all our heavy unconscious baggage. And among all that weighty baggage, the most oppressively heavy items of all might be held in the grip of the habit of trying to be right.

EH Johnston:
When overcome by drowsiness, always apply to your mind the principles of energy and steadfastness, of strength and courage.

Linda Covill:
When sleep threatens, always keep in mind the fundamental principles of initiative and determination, strength and courage.

VOCABULARY:
dhaatuH = nom. sg. of dhaatu: m. layer; constituent part ; element
aarambha: m. undertaking, beginning; effort, exertion
dhRtyoH = gen. dual of dhRti: f. holding; firmness, constancy, resolution
ca: and

sthaaman: station, seat, place; strength, power ; the neighing of a horse
vikramayoH = gen. dual of vikrama: valour, courage, heroism, power, strength
api: also

nityam: always, constantly
manasi (loc. manas, mind): with √ kR , to bear or ponder in the mind , meditate on , remember
kaaryaH = nom. sg. gerundive of kR: to make
te = tava (gen. of tvam): of you, for you, your

baadhyamaanena = inst. sg. of pres. part of baadh: to press , force , drive away , repel , remove ; (with variiyas, [freedom]) to force asunder; to harass , pain , trouble , grieve , vex ; to resist , oppose , check , stop , prevent ; to suffer annoyance or oppression
nidrayaa = inst. sg. of nidraa: sleep, sleepiness