SAUNDARANANDA 5.35: Nanda's Reticence

nandaM tato 'ntar-manasaa rudantaM
eh' iiti vaideha-munir jagaada
shanais tatas taM samupetya nando
na pravrajiShyaamy aham ity uvaaca

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5.35
Then the sage of Videha said to Nanda,

Who was weeping inside: "Come!"

At this Nanda approached him diffidently

And said "I won't go forth."

COMMENT:
The sage of Videha means Ananda, who was from the area of Videha, which came later to be known as Tirhut.

Nanda's voice in this verse, as I read it, is indecisive. So "I won't go forth" is the expression not of a firm decision, which Ananda and the Buddha might have respected, but rather a lack of self-confidence.

EH Johnston:
Then the Vaideha sage said to Nanda who was weeping in his mind, 'Come hither' ; then Nanda going slowly to him said, ' I will not become a mendicant.'

Linda Covill:
Then the sage of Videha said to Nanda, who was crying inside, "Come." Nanda slowly went up to him and replied, "I will not become a monk."

VOCABULARY:
nandam (acc. sg. m.): Nanda
tataH: ind. then
antar-manasaa (inst. sg.): with his inner mind
antar: ind. within (sometimes compounded with a following word like an adjective , meaning interior , internal , intermediate)
manas: mind
rudantam = acc. sg. m. pres. part. rud: to weep , cry , howl , roar , lament , wail

ehi (imperative aa- √i): Come!
iti: "...," thus
vaideha-muniH (nom. sg. m.): the sage of Videha
videha: m. N. of a country (= the modern Tirhut)
muni: m. sage
jagaada = 3rd pers. sg. perfect gad: to speak articulately , speak , say

shanaiH: ind. quietly , softly , gently , gradually , meekly
tataH: ind. then
tam (acc. sg. m.): him
samupetya = abs. sam -upa- √i: to come near , approach , go to (acc.)
nandaH (nom. sg. m.): Nanda

na: not
pravrajiShyaami = 1st pers. sg. future pravraj: to go forth
aham (nom. sg. m.): I
iti: "...," thus
uvaaca = 3rd pers. sg. vac: to say