SAUNDARANANDA 12.12: Shame-Faced Nanda, Conscious of End-gaining

praNamya ca gurau muurdhnaa
baaShpa-vyaakula-locanaH
kRtv" aaNjalim uvaac' edaM
hriyaa kiM cid avaaN-mukhaH

12.12
After bowing his head to the guru,

Eyes filled with tears,

He joined the palms of his hands and spoke as follows,

His face somewhat lowered, in shame:

COMMENT:
Shame is a negative emotion that can have great positive value.

Shame has to do with consciousness of faults, and consciousness of faults is the essence of the progress, through four realisations, that Nanda makes in the final Canto of this poem.

Lack of due attention to the means of practice (because of undue interest in expected rewards such as the love and appreciation of nymphs etc.) is a primary fault in sitting practice. Attachment to the joy that follows from the giving up of an end-gaining idea is also a fault. And the feeling of ease that follows from giving up attachment to joy is also a kind of fault.

Such is the practice that Ashvaghosha is describing: fault follows fault follows fault, beginning with end-gaining.

A face somewhat lowered is the cart; shame is the horse.

In a past life I made such a virtue of putting the cart before the horse that my ears were closed for a long time to the opposite principle; it was a partial, end-gaining view, born of ignorance.

In this verse, as I read it, the horse is before the cart.

EH Johnston:
And bowing his head to the Guru, with his eyes dimmed by tears he folded his hands and spoke as follows, looking somewhat downwards in shame :--

Linda Covill:
He bowed his head to the guru and folded his hands in reverence, and with tears filling his eyes and his face partially lowered in shame, he said:

VOCABULARY:
praNamya = absolutive of praNam: to bend or bow down before (often with muurdhnaa)
ca: and
gurau (locative): to the guru
muurdhnaa = instrumental of muurdha: the head

baaShpa: tear
vyaakula: full of
locanaH = nominative, singular of locana: " organ of sight " , the eye

kRtvaa = absolutive of kR: to do, make
aNjalim = accusative of aNjali: m. the open hands placed side by side and slightly hollowed (as if by a beggar to receive food ; hence when raised to the forehead , a mark of supplication) , reverence , salutation , benediction ; a measure of corn , sufficient to fill both hands when placed side by side
uvaaca = perfect of vac: to speak
idaM: this, the following

hriyaa = instrumental of hrii: f. shame , modesty , shyness , timidity
kiM cid: somewhat
avaaN: turned downwards , being or situated below
mukhaH (nominative, singular): face

SAUNDARANANDA 12.2: Shame & Disenchantment

tasya vriiDena mahataa
pramodo hRdi n' abhavat
a-praamodyena vimukhaM
n' aavatasthe vrate manaH.

12.2
Because of his great shame

The exuberance in his heart was no more.

His mind left downcast due to disenchantment,

He could not remain steadfast in his observance.

COMMENT:
This verse is certainly about shame, and it also seems to be about grief.

The first thing this verse seems to tell us about shame is that it can't co-exist with exuberance -- in accordance with the pyschological principle that the human mind can't experience two opposing emotions at once.

Shame is a kind of suffering whose cause, as with all suffering, lies in faults. The pain of Nanda's present shame -- his consciousness that his motivation was wrong, and that his naive assumption about the permanent bliss of heaven was wrong -- is part of a process that will eventually lead Nanda to abandon the faults which are the cause of suffering.

Nanda's disenchantment might be a kind of bereavement. Nobody has to die for a bereavement to be suffered. Loss of a beautiful romantic dream also causes the body to enter the bereavement process, beginning with white-faced shock that sets the wheel of samsara in motion.

In 10.63 the Buddha has promised Nanda that if he is steadfast in his observance, i.e. if he adheres unerringly to the rules of discipline, he will enjoy union with the apsarases. It may be that the Buddha made this promise safe in the knowledge that Nanda would inevitably become disenchanted, and that whenever anybody becomes disenchanted, they cannot remain steadfast. Rather, as part of a hard-wired bereavement process, they are invariably shaken and stirred.

It may be that the kind of steadfastness described in 16.84 can only occur after disenchantment, never before.

EH Johnston:
The feeling of deep shame made exaltation leave his heart, and his mind, downcast for lack of exaltation, did not abide firm in his vow.

Linda Covill:
Because of his great shame, there was no pleasure in his heart, and through lack of pleasure his depressed mind could not persist in his stated intention.

VOCABULARY:
tasya (genitive): of him, his
vriiDena (instrumental): because of shame
mahataa: f. greatness , mightiness

pramodaH (nominative, singular): excessive joy , delight , gladness
hRdi = locative of hRd: the heart
na: not
abhavat = past tense of bhuu: to be, to have

a: not
praamodyena = instrumental of praamodya: n. rapture , delight
vimukha: having the face averted , turned backwards ; turning away from (gen.) , disappointed , downcast

na: not
avatasthe = 3rd person singular of ava-√sthaa: to take one's stand , remain standing ; to stay , abide , stop at any place (loc.)
vrate = locative of vrata: will , command , law , ordinance , rule ;
obedience , service ; sphere of action , function , mode or , manner of life ; conduct , manner , usage , custom ; a religious vow or practice , any pious observance , meritorious act of devotion or austerity , solemn vow , rule , holy practice (as fasting , continence &c ; vrat/am- √car , " to observe a vow " , esp. " to practise chastity "); any vow or firm purpose
manaH (nominative, singular): mind